No Longer Your Savior

I was there when no one else cared if you took one more breath.  I sat with you in the darkness and coaxed you back to the land of the living, not once, not twice, but three times.  When others goaded you, I gave you logic and sense.  But you don't hear logic and sense do you little weakling?  No, you hear the ones you cried to tell you to pull the fucking trigger.  You hate me for stopping you.  Fine.  I did what was right.  And when what you were doing was found out, even those who call you their blood cheered me on for giving a damn about you and putting up with your whimpers and threats. 

Go ahead.  Threaten now.  Blame me.  Say it's my fault.  But I didn't hand you the gun.  I didn't give you the bullets.  I won't be there to pull the trigger.  I struck out.  Now you're up to bat.  Fool.  Sniveling creature of twisted reason.  You don't even know what to call me.  How long did I call you mine?  And yet from one day to the next, even hour to hour, a different name falls from your lips when you speak to me.  Yes I am the Wolf but you knew my true name.  You knew all of me.  But while I accepted the monster in you, you hated the beast in me.  Why?  Because you knew I was stronger than you.  You knew I would never yield or bow.  And that pissed you off even more.  I will always be stronger than you.  I will always be better than you.  And if you do finally take matters to your own hands, I will weep.  But only a little.  It's your choice.  Your weakness, not mine.  I tried to save you.  But I'm no longer your savior.  I have cut you from my heart and spit on what little feeling remained.  Very quickly now, you who I once held dear, are becoming an object of abject hatred and utter disgust.  You were never my equal.  You never will be.  And now you mewl and cry in shadows of your own making.  I no longer pity you.  I no longer care what you do.  You will vanish from me, one way or another.

How unwise of you to decide to throw all the blame at me.  I can be the scapegoat.  But don't think for one minute you will be the martyr.  I'm still the only one that remotely cares that you're not dead yet.  Yet.  You keep threatening it.  You keep saying you're on the edge.  If you have the stupid notion to jump that's not my problem anymore.  I won't push you.  But I won't stop you this time either.  I'm done with you.  I won't even howl to mourn your passing.  I've done enough mourning over you and what you used to be.

You keep saying I'm the one that's changed.  Maybe that's true.  But I don't think you ever really knew who I am.  You saw the figment of your imagination wrapped in my skin.  You want the fantasy I wove for you, not the reality.  Do you even have a grasp on what's real anymore?  I don't think you do.  The only reality for you now is pain and that gun in your hand.  Fine.  I will walk back into my shadows.  Maybe I shouldn't have saved you.  Maybe I shouldn't have protected you from the one that hunted you.  I don't regret it.  But you're not worth my time anymore.  You're insignificant.  Now make your choice and keep me out of it you bastard.